The Difference Between Kiba and Neji
by Suzaku Madoushi
Summary: When it comes to saving little kids Kiba and Neji have very different approaches. Not yaoi. Crack fic, you have been warned!


1Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto sadly...if I did Sasuke wouldn't be gay and I would be rich.

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Our story starts off in the village hidden in the leaves...kinda. Team 8 just so happened to be training somewhere near an area of mud that was very deep...like a lake of mud...yeah there we go. A lake of mud. When they heard something that you usually don't hear everyday...or at all...

"Hey! Let's go play in the mud!" a kid yelled from nowhere.

"What the hell is your problem? We'd get dirty! I'm not playing in mud! Go by yourself!" the other voice responded.

"Fine! I will!" Then the child ran over to where the mud lake was and jumped in. At first all seemed well until:

"Oh my God! I think I'm sinking!" the kid yelled. His companion just muttered, "Dumbass..." and walked away to go play in the streets instead...of course it was much safer then mud.

"Someone help me!" The child continued to scream. Team 8 just happened to hear them...I mean they were training NEAR the mud lake.

"W-what was t-that?" Hinata stuttered.

"Sounds like a kid..."

They walked around the lake and found the kid struggling to get out of the mud.

"Ah!!!" the child cried out.

"K-kiba, help him." the Hyuga heiress encouraged.

"Why can't Shino do it?" he complained.

"My bugs don't like mud." the bug master said simply.

"What about you Hinata?" Kiba asked.

"You've got to be kidding me." She said without so much as a stutter.

Kiba was shocked by her answer but besides that he dove into the mud to save the kid who was stupid to go play in the street with his friend. He slowly made his way over to the kid and grabbed him by the neck, tossing him out of the mud lake. When Kiba got out of the mud lake he was pissed and covered in mud.

"The hell is your problem? What the fuck were you doing in the mud?" he yelled.

The kid was traumatized by the throw and his neck hurt like hell but he responded with a sad smile. "Thank you mister!" the kid chirped.

"Your welcome but that doesn't fucking answer my question!"

"Well...I was going to go play with my friends in the streets but that's not safe!" the kid defended.

"Oh yeah, and mud that's deeper then you is oh so safe!" and with that Kiba left to go take a shower. He smelled like crap...so honestly he smelled like Naruto.

On to our next scenario! On that very same day the same stupid little kid ran into the mud again. Dumbass. But this time, Neji, Tenten, and Lee happened to be standing NEAR the mud lake. No one knows why they were there in the first place but they were.

"Did you just hear a kid scream?" Tenten asked slowly, turning her head in the direction of the scream.

"No I didn't" Neji said.

"I think we should go and check it out." Lee said.

"Well I don't." The Hyuga said stubbornly. Then Tenten and Lee dragged him towards the source of the scream which was toward the dumbass kid.

"Someone help me!" the kid screamed.

"Oh my I can not!"

"Why not?" Tenten questioned.

"Because it would mess up my spandex!" he exclaimed.

"Well I ain't doing it." the weapon master said.

"And why is that?"

"Because I don't want to! Neji you get to do it."

"Whatever." the hyuga said. He sat there for five minutes and analyzed the situation. Afterwards, Neji walked away and came back after a few minutes with a short stick in his hand.

"What's that for?" Tenten asked him.

"You'll see." he said walking slowly over to the kid in the mud.

"Help me!" he continued to shout.

Neji extended his arm with the stick to the kid so that it was as close as he could get it without touching the mud. Unfortunately for the kid it was not long enough. "Here, grab the stick." Neji said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

The kid struggled and tried to make his way to the stick but it was no use. Neji was just to tall and the stick, to short and also, the stick was so many feet away. "I can't!" he managed, still trying to reach. Neji didn't say anything, just continued to hold out the stick.

After a while the kid gave up and sank to the bottom of the mud lake, never to be heard from again.

"Oh well...I tried. He should have grabbed the stick." Neji said. "Dumbass."

"That was low..." Tenten muttered. Lee nodded in agreement. "Oh well, like I give a damn. Not my kid."

"You have a kid?" Lee asked, "So that is why you always train with Neji...what exactly do you two do?"

Upon hearing this, Neji turned towards Lee and sent him the most horrifying death glare that I can not describe.

"I was just stating an observation. I am sorry that it is true."

"You asshole! Not it isn't!" The Hyuga said sternly.

"Um...Neji? There's something I need to tell you." Tenten said looking down with a severe blush on her cheeks.

And the story continues so we won't go there yet. the main difference between Kiba and Neji is that Neji is OCD and Kiba is not. Well this is the end since we are too lazy to type more.


End file.
